Last week, we talked about how to create real, lasting behavior change by focusing on your identity, thoughts and feelings rather than your actions and results.
If you want different results, you must think different thoughts and cultivate different feelings.
If you only focus on changing your actions, that’s like changing the frosting on a cake that’s moldy inside. Sure, the sugar high tastes great, and the new chocolate frosting looks decadent on the outside, but when you take a bite of the cake, it tastes like old styrofoam that someone took out of the dumpster and put chocolate frosting on top of.
You can try to cover old thoughts and beliefs with crisp, new actions, but that surface level change doesn’t really work.
To become a new version of you, you must think and feel differently. This can feel like a daunting task. Good news! Your true self (soul) + energetic breadcrumbs are here to guide you!
In my book The Soul Solution, I wrote about how we have an “autobiographical self” and a “core self.”
The autobiographical self is the ego-based identity that consists of the stories we tell about ourselves or who we think we are: “I’m a good daughter,” “I’m always on time,” “I’m a vice president at a tech company,” “I’m attractive (or unattractive).”
The core self is the experiencing self. This is the part of us that asks: How do I feel right now, at this moment? What is my intuition saying? What do I know in my bones to be true?
I use the terms “core self, “soul,” “Self” with a capital “S” and “true self” interchangeably. Use whatever language resonates for you. This core self is who you know yourself to be in your bones. This Self emerges from the center of your being. It does not come from outside of you. It has nothing to do with who your parents think you are, or should be, who society says you are, or who you mold yourself to be in order to belong.
In fact, there is no molding of the core self.
It just is.
It exists. It experiences. It emerges from the center of our being.
Most of us exist primarily as the autobiographical self, and this causes a lot of suffering and misalignment.
Your core self might want to take a dance class or write a book, but your autobiographical self will say, “Dancing isn’t a viable career, especially for you.”
Your core self might feel blah when you spend too much time on social media. But your autobiographical self will respond, “You need to be on social media to stay current. Look at how much better everyone else is doing.”
If you only listen to your autobiographical self or ego, you’re more likely to make choices that don’t reflect who you really are or what truly makes you come alive. Instead, you may desire connecting more consistently with your core self.
Last week, I showed you this diagram:
A truly soul-centric life comes from living from the inside out:
True Self (Soul) -> Vibration + Energy State -> Energetic Breadcrumbs -> Take Action on Impulses -> Co-Create with the Universe
Your mindset can help you maintain the energy states and vibration you desire to access your core self. I’ll be talking in a future post about how to maintain the mindset that supports the process above.
Yes, you still have thoughts -> feelings -> actions, but when you’re accessing your core self, the thoughts might be non-verbal. You may just get a feeling or an impulse to call a certain person, click on someone’s profile on LinkedIn or take an online class.
One way to access the guidance of your core self is to notice your energetic breadcrumbs.
Simply notice when you get a little jolt of energy about something and follow those impulses.
Your energetic bread crumbs are the little nudges, good feelings, impulses, or experiences that excite you and bring you alive. Energetic bread crumbs offer clues to what makes you feel aligned with your True Self. They naturally guide you toward activities, people, places, and experiences that will bring you joy and lead to your most satisfying and meaningful life. I call them “bread crumbs” because, like Hansel and Gretel, you have to pay attention to notice them as they can be easily overlooked, but they will lead you out of the woods.
They will lead you home—back home to your True Self.
The key to a truly satisfying life is to come from your core self and align your energy state and vibration with that place. I’ll be talking more in the next post about how to do that.
In the meanwhile, see if you can notice your energetic breadcrumbs and follow them!
May you live a life aligned with your true self, today and always,
Vanessa
To accept your true core self is to let the rest of the world go! Let it go and listen. Sometimes it seems like the hardest thing to do, especially when the emotions are overwhelming and the tears flow.
The word “abundance” comes to mind. Abundance in saying yes. Saying “I am worthy.”
Just let go of what is no longer needed or what is suffocating, knowing our true self is waiting to come home!
Yes! so true Julie. Letting go of all those outside voices and opinions and just listening to the center of our being can feel hard to do at first, and yet it’s so powerful and profound! And yes, sometimes emotions and tears flow…in some ways, I think that can be us letting go of whatever’s been in the way of us feeling our core self.
I love that you had the word Abundance come through, and I am worthy. YAY!!!! love love love these insights. thank you for sharing.