Recently, I was scheduled to have a coaching call with one of the women in our Tactical Magic Mastermind, which is a ten month program for CWYL grads. When we got on the phone, she was in the middle of making herself lunch and had just gotten back from multiple back to back offsites and coach trainings while maintaining her full time day job.
She was a bit frenzied.
Her original plan was to quit her job, then pursue her next step to become certified as a coach. Instead, she’s doing everything at once.
When we got on the phone, I could feel how her energy was a bit distracted and pulling her elsewhere. She wanted quiet time to process and integrate all the new material and insights she’d just received.
Your needs can change. Your plan can evolve.
Even though we’d scheduled a call, I told her it felt like we should cancel. I suggested that perhaps the lesson she was meant to learn was that it’s ok to do less, say; “No,” and prioritize downtime.
Honoring your moment to moment truth is powerful.
I could hear her breath a sigh of relief as she giggled and agreed that perhaps the point of our call for the day was to not have a call. It was the wise choice in that moment.
Bonus benefit: canceling the call felt in flow for me too, and gave me the extra time to write this blog!
Scared of disappointing people? What if you’re doing them a favor!?
Have you ever felt scared to say no or back out of a commitment because you didn’t want to disappoint others? Maybe you’re doing the other person a favor.
We could all use more space. Leading by example inspires others.
This woman knew she’d taken on too much, and she also realized she was putting this pressure on herself. No one else was asking her to do all these things at the same time.
I’ve suffered from self-induced overwhelm too, and it ain’t pretty.
(Read my recent blog on “How to Feel Okay Doing Less” for some tips on how to handle this)
It’s amazing how we’ll over-commit and not realize how much we’ve dug ourselves into a hole until we’re way beyond capacity.
Take a step back before you over-commit.
Take a moment to look at your days and week ahead. Do you have a lot going on? Is there a way you can build a little more downtime or cushion between events, meetings and commitments?
As always, the best conversations happen in the comments! Let us know – have you suffered from self-inflicted overwhelm? What has helped you to do less and take some quiet time to reflect and process between commitments?
We can all find five minutes.
You can create quiet time for reflection, even if it’s just five minutes before you go to bed at night.
T A K E S P A C E.
Just seeing the words above typed out with more space feels calming to me!
If you want support in calming your anxious mind, try our free 30 Day Meditation Challenge (Starts immediately!)
May you create work and a life you love,
Vanessa
Photo Credit: Artur Rutkowski on Unsplash
Vanessa,
You raise a great point in how “saying No” can actually become beneficial to others. I am finding it more difficult to say “No,” without ruining my reputation or being selfish, regardless of the dazzling reason I can create. Today, I said “No” and do you know what happened? Others, realized where they could say “Yes”!
Unbeknownst to me, others were waiting for the opportunity to take on a “task” and with a little bit (literally a little bit of effort from me) encouragement I was able to take a step back from the crazy schedule I have had and exhale. Man! That felt good. I still have goosebumps over that moment.
I shared with them, while I know I’m great at this “task,” I am in transition to no longer be the only go-to person. Everyone will need to have a role in taking this “task” to reach our project goals. I am here to assist and guide in any way that I can or we will learn the path together.
I didn’t think I needed to say that, not for me; but, maybe, they needed to hear it and see in put into action.
Thank you for your newsletter. We can’t expect people to stop expecting us to say “Yes”….if we never start saying “No.”
“A person often meets their destiny on the road he took to avoid it.”
-Jean de la Fontaine-
Thanks for sharing your story Courtney! I LOVE what you said: We can’t expect people to stop expecting us to say “Yes”….if we never start saying “No.”. YES!!! Totally agree.