Quick announcement before today’s blog:
Registration is officially OPEN for the Create Work You Love (CWYL) Program! Woo Hoo!
To learn more and register – Click HERE.
Create Work You Love is a three month online career program for women at a crossroads or major transition, looking for guidance, support and clarity on your next step.
Now onto the blog…
A couple weeks ago, I sat in our son James’ first day of preschool.
Towards the end of the day, the kids were doing “circle time.” After singing some songs, the teacher squatted in the middle of the circle, and began slowly rolling a ball to each child, saying their name. Then the child would roll the ball back to the teacher and she’d randomly pick someone else to roll it to.
She rolled the ball to me.
As I was sitting behind James observing this ritual, the teacher looked right at me, said MY name and rolled the ball to my feet. I felt a bit silly participating, but then…
Hearing my name and having the ball rolled to me, I suddenly felt a little jolt of joy.
It was weird to notice how good it felt to be included and recognized – among a group of three year olds.
Clearly, it had nothing to do with my ego. I didn’t really care whether or not these kids noticed that the ball was being rolled to me. I didn’t care whether the teacher thought I was important or not.
None of that mattered. And yet, there was joy in having the ball rolled to me. Observing myself with curiosity, I decided my response was part of a primal need that’s deep within our psyche.
We all want to be seen. To be recognized. To be included.
There’s a fundamental human need for connection and to be witnessed by others.
We can do this as adults too.
Giving someone your full attention, not looking at your phone while they’re speaking but instead really looking them in the eye, is a way to help others feel seen. Acknowledging someone’s contribution in a meeting or asking them what they think is a way to “roll the ball” to them and include them in the conversation.
So today I ask you; how are you rolling the ball to other people in your life? At work and at home, how can you help others feel seen, recognized and included?
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture.
All it takes is something simple that says; “I see you. You’re part of this. Thank you for being here.”
Leave a comment and let us know. What’s your experience of feeling seen, included and recognized? How can you “roll the ball” to other people in your life?
May you create work and a life you love,
Vanessa
P.S. If you know someone else who’s at a crossroads or major transition with their career, and wants to find clarity on their next step – please share this link with them!
I walk my big dog on Polk Street once a week. The part of Polk Street with a lot of homeless people. My dog is a black Newfoundland. She weighs 125 pounds and is like having a celebrity around – most people want to meet her and pet her. It gives me a chance to talk to these homeless people – my neighbors – on Polk Street. They often share stories about their own dogs. I can feel the divide, the boundaries between us, evaporating when this happens. And then we are just two dog lovers having a conversation. I don’t often get their names, but I do connect with them on a human level. It’s an important part of my week.
Wow, this is a beautiful way to care for others Elizabeth. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
When someone is speaking, feel as if you are saying the words. When we speak we feel the thought is “important” enough to express. When someone else speaks, we don’t often give it as much credit. If you feel as if you are the speaker, the impact of what is being said increases.
That is insightful! I can’t wait to give that a try! Thanks for your thoughts Kathi.