Check out this Podcast: The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do
Earlier this week, I had dinner with several of my dear girlfriends. We all have young children, some of us work outside the home and some are full-time mothers working inside the home.
As we talked about the joy and struggle of life with little ones, we all had stories about a certain dynamic with our partners. It goes something like this; husband is home with the baby for the night while mom goes out, and texts her asking; “where are the bowls?”
Women are often responsible for “invisible” or “emotional” labor in the household, those tasks that you don’t know are being done on a daily basis.
If you’ve felt this dynamic in your household, you will love this podcast!
The podcast is based on a wildly popular article that Gemma Hartley wrote for Harpers Bazaar titled; “Women Aren’t Nags—We’re Just Fed Up”
Can you take this off my plate?
Recently, my husband kindly agreed to take something off my plate because I was feeling overwhelmed. I was grateful until…he asked multiple questions about how to do it.
I found myself (still) overwhelmed and (newly) frustrated.
Afterwards, I tried to explain that when he asks so many questions about how to do something, it ends up feeling like the To Do just got put back on my To Do list.
I didn’t know how to adequately express the emotional toll I often feel being the one in our family who remembers where everything is, knows the kids’ schedules and is aware of what needs to be done on any given day. In fairness to my lovely husband, he’s a very willing partner and there are a lot of ways I co-create this dynamic (being controlling, wanting to take the lead on certain tasks but not always, creating unnecessary work, etc.).
Happy wife, happy life.
This podcast puts a language and framework around the perceived inequity that many women feel at home – it’s super helpful!
It’s great for men (especially dads) too.
One of my friends sent the podcast to her husband. After listening, he sent her a very grateful message appreciating all the things she does for their family. 🙂 It gave him a new understanding of their dynamic as well.
What do you think?
Let us know in the comments – Do you feel unappreciated for some of the “emotional labor” in your household? If so, what has helped you with this dynamic?
We really would love to hear from you, leave a comment below and let us know what you think!
This is my life. If my husband goes to the store, I inevitably get a call from the granola aisle with a question and then one later in the pet treat aisle. Just like you said, it takes up more space and it doesn’t feel like I can knock it off my list. Yesterday, I was at a women’s speaking event that looked like it was going to run into dinner hour-I texted my husband if he could relieve the sitter. Lovely man that he is, he texted back “of course!”. When I got out of the event I called to thank him and asked if I could pick up something for dinner. He hadn’t even thought about it yet and it was 6:30….wow. When I travel and something goes awry, I get a text even when I’m 8 states away – this would be from the school or whomever, even though they know I’m traveling and they have both our numbers. Can’t wait to listen to this podcast and learn how I co-create this! Thanks!!!!!!!
ahh, I SO relate to all of this Suzanne! Hope you like the podcast. There isn’t a quick/easy solution, but my husband and I are planning to sit down and go through all the things we each do (including the invisible and emotional labor) and re-negotiate some items 😉 I’ll let you know how it goes!