Your mind is powerful.
Your mind has helped you achieve great things. And it can also keep you stuck in unhealthy thought patterns.
How can you harness the power of your mind to full advantage?
Start by elevating your state of consciousness. (what the heck does that mean?! Don’t worry, it’s easier than you think and doesn’t involve taking plant medicine.)
Put yourself in the seat of the observer.
Meditating is a great tool to do this. And today, I want to give you another option.
Right now, as you’re reading this email, can you see or observe yourself reading this email? As “you” read the email, can you simultaneously notice that there is another YOU who is watching “you” read this email?
The observer is able to witness the protagonist.
Our 5-year-old daughter Eva is sensitive to being reprimanded. She really doesn’t like it.
Recently, she came up with a “trick” to feel better whenever she makes a mistake.
She told me; “Mommy, I just pretend I’m reading a story about myself and then I feel better.”
For example, she went on, “If I spilled paint at school and felt bad, I would say (in a funny, theatrical voice in her own head) ‘And then (imaginary drum roll)….the girl spilled the paint!’ And then I feel better.”
This act of narrating her mistake pulls her out of shame.
Narrating the story of what happened in a silly way allowed Eva to create some distance between the “self” that spilled the paint and her higher self.
She was no longer just the protagonist who spilled paint, feeling bad. She was the one reading the story about that protagonist.
From this larger vantage point, she could cope with what happened.
I’ve been practicing mindfulness and self-compassion for YEARS attempting to do what my 5 year old did in five minutes automatically!
Kids really are the best teachers.
Whenever I notice that my mind is not serving me, maybe I’m stuck in self-judgment or criticism, or I’m obsessing over something in an unproductive way (who me?!), I’ll try to elevate myself to the seat of the observer.
To see the bigger picture.
To be bigger than the me that is obsessing over someone else’s success (just a hypothetical).
Lately, I’ve been trying my daughter Eva’s technique and it works really well!
The next time you do something you’re not proud of, imagine a talk show host saying; “You’ve won….a new car!”
And then replace the words “You’ve won….a new car!” with; “And then….she yelled at her mother!” or “And then…she was lazy and unmotivated at work!”
Announce in a radio host voice (in your own head); “And then…[insert behavior you’re not proud of.]”
It works wonders!
It’s a quick, simple tool to elevate yourself to the non-judgmental observer.
Try it out and let us know how it goes!
How do you get out of a negative loop in your own mind? Let us know in the comments BELOW!
[…] Another easy way to elevate yourself to the seat of the observer or the witness is to narrate your experience. You can read more about how to do that HERE. […]
Nice one! I tried using it both on positive and negative actions.
And then… she turned on the music and the whole day became nicer!
Great tip, thanks
Ha! I love the idea of using it on positive as well as negative situations. That’s a great idea!! Thanks for sharing Anna. I’m going to give it a whirl. 🙂
Your messages are so inspiring and wanted to comment on this one especially. It is a great way to gain perspective, which is what it does! Thanks as always! Blessings, Lynn
I love this! I enjoy all of your notes. This time I had to take a minute to let you know what a great insight this gave me. Hugs to you and Eva!
Blessings on your journey.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it Michelle! And I told Eva you were sending her a hug. 🙂
Hi Vanessa, I receive so many emails and blogs and yours in one of the few that I read and get so much value out of . I truly connect with your authenticity and a lot of what you are saying . I love this being in the observer seat and not taking yourself too seriously . When I’m caught in the spiral of negative thinking or self judgment I become aware of them and then tell myself I’m just a little bunny trying to figure it out , that’s from you are a badass book by Jen Sincero. Then I think of something more positive and I give myself permission to make that mistake and find better and other ways to go about it. Whether it having humility and asking for forgiveness from
My son when I raise my voice at him or become impatient. Or whether it’s going into the other room and removing myself from the immediate emotional crisis that is going inside .
I am learning this skill everyday to be looking from the outside inn and not have such a linear view of any situation or how my mind thinks by default in the moment . I have to say it’s not an easy task. But bu consistent self awareness and taking inventory ignores helps and also .reslly , what’s the worse that can happen. I try not to overreact , over analyze and not tragedyze any thought or feeling and if I do , I’m human. I’m aware and then I work on letting it go .
Thank you Milena, I’m so happy you’re getting value out of these blogs! And I love that you’re using the “I’m just a little bunny, trying to figure it out.” That one helps me a lot too and it’s a great reminder. How wonderful that you’re practicing humility and forgiveness. I agree none of this is an easy task but it’s SO worth it, and you sound like you’re really making it a consistent practice. Yay!!! Thanks for being part of this community. I’m so glad you’re here.