I messed up. And my 6 year old son James gave me the advice I most needed to hear…
The other weekend in Tahoe, I messed up in a small way by signing our daughter up for the wrong week of summer camp (NOT with all her friends). The night before, I had anxiety nightmares about missing the dang 7am sign-up window. And I had nightmares about some other (bigger) mistakes I made last year.
The next morning, I sat in the ski lodge crying. I was feeling bad about myself and my mistakes. It wasn’t really about the silly summer camp registration. It was about these other poor choices I made last year.
It was *really* about the belief that if I make a bad choice = I am bad.
My son James turned to me and said; “Mommy, mistakes are just learnings.”
It was such an important reminder and, coming from the mouth of a 6 year old (with his little lisp, it sounded like; “Mommy, mistakes are just wearnings,”) it made me smile and helped me stop beating myself up.
Then, I went to the bathroom to have a good cry. Which can be a good release. But as I sat in the stall, I no longer felt sad. Because all I could hear was my son’s little voice saying; “Mommy, mistakes are just wearnings.”
There are two paths to take when you make a mistake:
Mistake -> Feel bad = I’m bad. I suck. I can’t do anything right. I can’t be trusted. I’m disorganized. I never get it right. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I behave correctly / be organized / be on the ball?
Mistake -> Get curious and kind = I’m just a little bunny doing my best. What can I learn from this? What do I want to do differently next time? How can I be extra kind and patient with myself in this moment?
Popping yourself into humor helps you transition from self-criticism to curiosity.
For me, hearing my son’s little voice say; “Mistakes are just wearnings” immediately puts me into humor, which then bridges me towards kindness and curiosity.
What helps you change your self-talk and your attitude when you make a mistake? Would love to know! Please leave a comment below and let us know.
And thank you to everyone who joined our LIVE Weekly Planning Call this past Monday! If you missed us and want to watch the recording, check it out HERE.
May we all be kind and gentle to ourselves whether we make mistakes or do it all perfectly,
Vanessa
P.S. Thank you soooooo much to everyone who has left an Amazon or Goodreads review of my book The Soul Solution. I just loved what Jessica wrote:
And Angelique put it so well – sometimes it does take a global pandemic for us to prioritize what really matters!
YES YES YES – Do your soul a favor and read this book!!
**If you haven’t left a review for the book, I would appreciate it! You can leave it HERE.**
Reading each of your reviews has been a joy – frankly, I should do it more often. Like, every time I’m having a bad day. Or doubting that I’ve done anything worthwhile with my life. Or feeling bad about myself. I can just go to Amazon and get a little hit of joy.
It’s soul affirming…and yes, also ego boosting. Both are true.
Anyway, enough about ME. Let’s talk about YOU. And how YOU can help ME. By leaving an Amazon review. For my book. That’s all about listening to the whispers of your soul instead of the loud voice of the ego. And my ego would really appreciate it if you would leave me a review. Like ASAP.
Ok, fine, my Soul would appreciate it too. But only if your heart feels like a yes to leaving a review. My soul is waaaay less pushy than my ego. Which is why she takes a backseat a little too often.
So, if your heart and soul + mind and ego are all in agreement, I’d love it if you’d leave a 5 star review of The Soul Solution!
From my soul + ego to yours, thank you!
Thanks for sharing this reminder Vanessa! I love that your young son reminded you this powerful message ! It’s adorable while so wise !