Last week, we talked about how to set healthy boundaries. In addition to boundary creep, many people asked me; “Vanessa, I can’t seem to focus. My energy is low and my attention is so fragmented these days.”
Be on your own side.
First off, it’s super important to be extra kind and gentle to yourself during this time.
Use this simple self-compassion hack: Imagine what you’d say to a dear friend who was dealing with everything you’ve got going on, and then offer those same kind words of encouragement to yourself.
Unfocused? You’re not alone.
If you feel less motivated and more fragmented than usual these days, welcome to the club!
Our coping skills are stretched to the max right now. Ongoing strain on your nervous system can cause this lack of focus.
Good news – it’s easy to retrain your brain in small ways.
Here are two simple tools to enhance focus:
Improve Focus (how to focus).
You can improve focus so that you can direct your attention like a narrow and powerful beam towards a singular object rather than having your attention skitter about from one object to the next.
Option A: Powerful Searchlight
In Option A, when you have powerful focused awareness, it’s like having a 3,000 watt searchlight you can direct and point towards whatever you like.
Option B: Toddler with a Flashlight
In Option B, when you’re attention is flitting about, it’s more like having a flashlight wielded by an overexcited three year old on a sugar high who just had one too many s’mores and is drunk on the POWER of being the chosen one who gets to direct that beam of light willy nilly for the whole group…so they chose to constantly switch objects of focus every 0.05 seconds. (yes, this happened with my son in our backyard last weekend. I felt like I was at a rave with a strobe light flashing aggressively in my face. #givebacktheflashlight)
Begin training your brain (and behavior!) to focus on one thing at a time.
Here’s a focusing meditation to help you:
Discernment of Focus (what to focus on)
In addition to improving our beam of light and enhancing how strongly we can focus it, it’s also important to use discernment towards what you choose to put your attention on.
Decide to proactively focus on things that feel good and this will improve your well being.
Let’s say you learn to cultivate focus and can direct your attention like a powerful search light. But you choose to shine that search light on a pot hole in the road instead of on the cute little birds or the wildflowers growing on the side of the road.
If you focus on things that feel bad, you will feel bad.
If you focus on things that feel good, you will feel good.
No joke, it really is that simple.
The cool news is you can rewire your brain and your nervous system to really soak in good experiences so that they start to hardwire into your brain.
Here’s a short meditation to help you Savor the Good and cultivate joy
May you improve focus and spend time each day focusing on pleasurable experiences that bring you joy.
Sending love to you and yours,
P.S. We had a great Weekly Planning Session on Insight Timer this morning to map out your ideal week and create Soul-Centric Success.
If you want to join me LIVE next Monday, register HERE.
Photo Credit: Mel Elías
Exactly what I needed! Thanks Vanessa! 🥰