Jealousy is a back door to clarity.
Years ago, when I first contemplated quitting my job in finance, I looked around at my classmates from Stanford Business School and realized I didn’t want any of their jobs!
I wasn’t excited to be a consultant, or a banker, or to work in operations, or non-profit or at a tech startup.
Nothing inspired me. I thought maybe something was wrong with me.
The only people I was a little jealous of were the entrepreneurs. There was a friend of mine who’d started a company that was doing well and had a mission he believed in, and that inspired me and left me feeling just a tiny bit envious.
[bctt tweet=”Jealousy = unmet desire making itself known.” username=”vanessaloder”]
For me, jealousy was the first hint that I wanted to be an entrepreneur.
Since then, each time I catch myself feeling envious of someone or something, I’ve realized underneath the envy there is always an unmet desire of mine.
Today I ask you:
Who are what are you jealous of?
If you want to find the right path for you, one way to do that is to start noticing what causes you to feel envious.
(Sure, there are always super fit, attractive people to feel jealous of, but I’m talking about feeling envious of someone else’s career or accomplishments in life.)
If you aren’t sure what kind of work you want to be doing, what kind of parent you want to be, what sort of person you’d like to date, or where you want to go for your next vacation…simply ask yourself; “Hmmm, who am I the most jealous of when it comes to (fill in the blank – work, vacation, lifestyle, dating, parenting, etc.)?”
You’ll find a big kernel of truth buried deep inside your jealousy.
If the word “jealous” turns you off, you can also ask; “Hmm, who or what really inspires me?”
Once you figure out who or what inspires you, ask yourself; “Hmm, what is it about xx person, specifically, that inspires me? Or that I’m jealous of?”
That is a clue to who you want to BE in the world.
Your jealousy is simply a signal that there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to be.
I’d love to get your take. Who inspires you, and why? Do you ever feel envious? What do you think is hiding underneath that feeling?
Share your thoughts below! I’m really interested!
May you create work and a life you love,
Vanessa
P.S. If you’re inspired (or jealous!) by someone else’s career and want to feel more passionate about your work – get on our Early Bird List for the Create Work You Love Program.
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Very inspiring. I really enjoy how you tackle jealousy in a positive way!
Thanks Olivia! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Your words hit home for me. I have been deflated, frustrated, and burned out for awhile now. I need something very different.
Thank you for sharing that Mary, it’s not easy to feel that way. I’m glad this gave you some insight into what you really want.
You make a very powerful point. I appreciate the way you turned an emotion — which is both uncomfortable to experience and uncomfortable to admit — into information we can work with. Thank you!!
Yay! I love it when I can turn something uncomfortable into something useful…that sort of feels like the deeper purpose behind so much of my teaching. 😉 Glad you felt that way Khadija.