Lately, I’ve been deepening into some healing practices that have supported me for years. One of them has to do with connecting with your inner child.
Cue eye roll.
When I first heard things like; “heal your inner child,” I would gag a little bit and roll my eyes.
I used to be super anti-therapy.
When I was a kid, I had a lot of anger. My parents dragged me to several different therapists to discover what was “wrong” with me.
This didn’t leave me feeling great about myself or therapists.
My mom is still somewhat incredulous that I now work in a related field given my vehement hatred of therapists when I was little.
The truth is, when I began my own journey of self-discovery, I was incredibly distrustful and critical of anyone and everyone.
Despite my resistance, there’s one technique that really helped.
This technique has been so helpful to me over the years, I decided to create a brand new guided meditation so you can try it too! Here it is:
Let Go of the Past
Years ago, I learned a profound practice to connect with my wounded little girl and give her exactly what she needed.
The adult version of me would visit her, often when she was in an upsetting situation, and ask what she needed. Then, I’d give her the love and comfort she desperately craved.
At first, she was so angry she wanted nothing to do with me. So I imagined myself up lying down on the floor next to her and throwing a tantrum alongside her. She peeked at me out of the corner of her eye with curiosity when I did that.
The next time I visited her, we threw rocks over a cliff and destroyed some stuff. It was kind of exhilarating. I asked if she wanted to color a picture, and she pushed so hard with the crayons that she tore a hole in the paper. It felt weird and discomforting to visit this little girl who was so angry.
But several people I respected told me this technique worked, so I stuck with it.
Over time, I built trust with that little girl. Eventually, she let me hold her and comfort her.
The other night, I went to meditate but got distracted.
I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I was checking (read: obsessively scrolling) this app called Insight Timer to see how many views and star reviews my meditations and course had gotten.
Rather than meditating myself, I was focused on how many people were listening to my meditations. (Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?)
I started to feel bad and admonished myself thinking; “You call yourself a ‘spiritual teacher’ and yet there goes your ego again Vanessa, still checking how many views you’ve got!”
Lying in bed afterwards, I visualized my little girl.
I was beating myself up a bit about my own ego and decided to see how she was doing.
Flip the script.
When I flipped the script and made it about my inner wounded child instead of my ego, suddenly everything changed.
I thought; “Oh, you really want validation. You didn’t get the love, praise and validation you deeply desired as a kid, so you’re seeking it out here.”
From eye roll to compassion in five minutes flat.
In less than five minutes of connecting with that wounded little girl, I went from an eye roll at my never-satiated ego into complete and utter compassion for her. I felt her sadness at not feeling seen or recognized for who she really is.
Gold medals and blue ribbons abound!
So I visited her. First we destroyed some stuff, because she was still pretty pissed about this lack of recognition. And hey, who doesn’t love a good tantrum?
We threw rocks through all the windows in the house, opened bags of flour and dumped them on the kitchen floor, cut open pillows with knives and let the feathers fly. It was a crazy, fun release.
Then we went to our special, safe house down the street where we were greeted by angels, guides and loved ones including my grandpa who’s no longer alive. They showered her with love and approval. Next thing I know, they’d put her on a stage, and were giving her a gold medal. And another gold medal, and another. Then they covered her in blue ribbons, telling her; “We see how special you are. We love you. We validate your sacredness.”
She was grinning ear to ear.
When I left the final scene of that visualization, I felt so much better. Most importantly, I was able to connect with deep self-compassion rather than self-judgment.
Instead of feeling annoyed at the never-ending demands of my ego, I saw the little girl underneath that ego and I loved her precious little self.
This technique has been so helpful to me over the years, I decided to create a brand new guided meditation so you can try it too!
This Guided Meditation is designed to help you connect with and heal your inner child.
It may sound cheesy, but it really works!
Try it for yourself and see. After you’ve listened, I’d love to hear from you!
Leave a comment below and let us know; what happened when you visited your little girl or boy? Are there experiences from your childhood you’ve had a hard time letting go of?
May you let go of the past to create work and a life you love,
P.S. If you enjoyed this meditation, you’ll love our brand new 15 Day Meditation Challenge that starts June 23rd!
You’ll get a FREE 10 minute guided meditation every day for 15 days, along with a fireside chat.
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