Straight to the next.
These days, it seems we’re always eager for the next thing.
The next promotion.
The next event.
The next vacation.
The next big project.
Recently, I learned this powerful framework from Gail Larsen’s Transformational Speaking program (I highly recommend it!) called the JourneyWell Wheel of Life.
Our life (and work) go in cycles.
This JourneyWell Wheel suggests there’s a cycle we go through that often starts with;
Innovate & Create (dream, vision, set goals, begin program)
Peak or Plateau (make progress, decline and deny, get triggered)
Complete or Abandon (interrupt or end, let go and grieve, withdraw)
Reflect and Integrate (self-renewal, seek support, experiment)
If you think back to a project at work, it probably went through some of these phases. And your life overall goes through these cycles as well.
Honoring where you are.
Where are you on the JourneyWell Wheel right now? Are you in a period of growth and expansion, or have you recently finished a big project and it’s time to let go and withdraw?
The importance of grieving, renewal and seeking support.
Having just completed a big launch for the CWYL Program and hosted a World Constellations event in our home at the end of March, I recently finished some big projects for my work.
And if I’m honest, I’m ending the phase of grieving and completing, and moving into a phase of withdrawing, self-renewal and seeking support.
For me, “Reflect and Integrate” is the hardest place on the wheel to be! It’s so tempting to jump straight to the next thing without pausing.
We don’t live in a world that honors the importance of taking time to withdraw and integrate.
When we’ve completed something, whether it’s a marriage or a big project at work, our society doesn’t encourage us to pause and take the space we need to let go and grieve, to withdraw, integrate and practice self-renewal before we move on to the next thing.
One of the reasons I find it hard to deepen into withdrawing, self-renewal and seeking support is because none of these things are tangible or can be measured.
And we live in a world where everyone wants to know; “what did you do today?”
It’s not easy to feel like you’ve had a productive day when you’re practicing withdrawing and self-renewal!
It takes incredible courage to honor the importance of these phases of the wheel, because you may initially have less “to show for it” to the outside world.
And yet, it is exactly in honoring these quiet periods that you will restore and renew yourself for the next chapter. The new life that wants to grow and expand in your next cycle.
I still remember when I had a miscarriage at about nine weeks pregnant when we were trying to have a second child. I was so sad for days. I couldn’t imagine working.
Occasionally, I craved work as a distraction. But mostly, I just wanted to grieve.
At the time, I remember thinking how many of my girlfriends had suffered from miscarriages, or other losses. And how uncommon it was for anyone to take even one day off work to grieve or withdraw after such an experience.
I have the fortune of running my own business; I can control my own schedule, and I still struggled to give myself time and space to grieve and practice self-renewal before moving on from that loss.
I used to think “grief” only happens with major tragedy or death. But recently, I’ve been noticing there’s always a little grief when something ends. Even if it’s a project at work, or a vacation, it’s important to spend a little time grieving and honoring things when they come to an end.
Reflect on your experience before jumping to the next thing.
So today I’m asking you; Do you struggle to honor and appreciate the importance of grief, withdrawal, self-renewal or seeking support?
Let us know in the comments below!
In what way are you needing more self-renewal or time to pause and reflect before beginning the next thing?
Today, I made a new commitment to myself (which you’re welcome to borrow!):
I Commit to honoring and appreciating all the cycles of my business and life.
And…
I give myself permission to grieve, reflect, renew, integrate and seek support before moving on to the next thing.
[…] This is an updated version of this original blog post. […]
[…] I’ve written about before, I often have a hard time giving myself permission to take a break and do something totally […]
I too have not recognized when I needed to shut down, rest, and restore – especially so since I am an introvert. I have experienced many signicant changes and completed major “projects” in the past several years. I think this might be key to resolving symptoms that have been lingering for years and I have viewed as “preventing” from moving forward in my life on many levels. Maybe all of this frustration and fear is unnecessary if I just allow for the process to happen. Thank you for writing this.
YES! It can feel so scary to shut down, rest and restore….it’s as though a part of me fears I’ll never come back or I’ll never feel motivated again. And yet, every time I take a break, I come back so much MORE motivated and energized. It’s a lesson I’m still learning! I love your thought of just allowing the process to happen. Thank you for sharing that Jennie.
I have never thought of life in that way, but your right it is all a cycles we keep repeating & if we miss a cycle we really feel out of balance, Thanks for this
Thanks Terri! Yes, thinking of my work and my life overall as going through a series of cycles has been a really helpful framework for me lately. We have so many types of cycles with the seasons, the moon, our own internal clock, etc. there’s a lot to sit with on this topic.
This is spot on and a great reminder. Thank you for sharing Vanessa!!
Thanks Kirsten!
Hi Vanessa. Thanks for sharing this. It really spoke to me. I feel like I’ve been in a Reflect and Integrate state for a while. I finally realized I had to stop fighting it or ignoring it, and that only by fully allowing myself to be in it and experience will I be able to get through it. I love your commitment statement about giving yourself permission to experience it too!
Thanks for the reflection Maura! I really appreciate how much you’re allowing yourself to be in the truth of your own experience and what you truly desire right now. It’s a beautiful surrender.
Hi Vanessa, I’m a big fan of your work and enjoyed reading this. Couldn’t agree more about seeing life through the lense of cycles. But how does one make sure we honor each cycle, submitting to where you are at a particular time….but also not get trapped or stuck in one. Learning to let go and move on are important too. Just a thought.
That’s a really great question Jennifer. I’d love to know – how have you honored each cycle in the past and how have you recognized when it’s time to move on? For me, I often think I’m “wallowing” or staying too long in a part of the cycle, but in hindsight, it’s my own discomfort with the down cycles. I’m so impatient and I tend to rush things. I’ve rarely looked back and said “oh wow, I was trapped in that part of the cycle too long” if anything, I tend to gloss over certain stages too quickly. Because when I start to allow myself to really go into it, especially if it’s a withdraw/self-renewal phase, I get scared that I’m stuck or lazy or trapped…but when I surrender, I can tell it’s where I need to be. And after a period of surrender, for me there is usually an uptick of energy that signals I’m ready to come out of a down phase. It progresses naturally if I let it. I just get in the darn way!
This resonated so much. I find that even the loss of a client in my business, through no fault of ours, triggers this process. It’ s a loss! I feel so much healthier for acknowledging this. I have an amazing homoeopath who has helped me ‘tune in’ to myself, over the years, and so being increasingly mindful, I give myself permission to acknowledge the loss and treay my body, mind and soul more gently. I immerse myself in ‘my’ stuff; usually retreating into nature with my fur children to recharge and get back in balance. I find prayer and solitude really help, as well as empathetic family and friends. #soblessed
aww, I love this Karren. Thanks for sharing. And how healing for you to acknowledge the loss of a client in your business, it is still a loss. That’s wonderful you give yourself permission to acknowledge the loss and treat yourself gently. YAY!!!! #soblessed…love it.