The autobiographical self is the ego-based identity that consists of the stories we tell about ourselves or who we think we are. “I’m always on time.” “I’m an overachiever.” “I’m a good mom.”
Our actions often stem from this set of beliefs; “A good mom organizes her kids’ playdates, so I’ll schedule my kids’ playdates.” “A hard worker would finish this proposal, so even though I’m exhausted, I’ll work until 11:30pm to finish this task.”
The core self is the experiencing self. It’s related to your body wisdom and your moment to moment sensations. You might interpret this to be what your intuition is saying or what you know in your bones to be true.
This core self emerges from the center of your being. It does not come from outside of you.
So, you have two choices:
- You can put on an identity that’s given to you by people outside of you (ego-based autobiographical self). This often feels like a heavy backpack full of rocks. Maybe you’ve been carrying it so long, you’ve gotten used to the weight. And you think it’s no big deal. But your body is tired of carrying this backpack.
- You can notice what wants to emerge from the center of you and follow those impulses. (core self, Soul) This feels more like discovering jewels inside the center of your being, pulling them out with delight and sharing them with the world.
While #2 sounds all fabulous, in practice it can be scary as hell.
Because while you’re waiting for a jewel to “emerge from the core of you,” your friends and family are often standing next to you saying; “Hand me a rock from that backpack you’ve been carrying. What do you mean you’re going to sit here until you find a jewel in the center of you? Are you crazy?? What kind of mumbo jumbo is that?! There are no jewels. We just have this backpack, and these rocks. And we’re supposed to carry the rocks from here to there. Why? I have no idea. Because the people before us told us to, that’s why. Because we’ve been carrying these backpacks our whole lives. And you want to just lay it down and wait for some jewel to appear? What are you Jack and the Beanstalk crazy? That will never work. Besides, that’s lazy. And weird. So pick up your pack and keep climbing this mountain that goes nowhere. Otherwise, we’ll abandon you.”
And so you put the backpack of safety and belonging back on, and soldier on.
Only you’re tired. And you can feel these sparkly jewels almost begging to be brought into the light of day.
How can you discover your precious jewels?
Last week, we talked about noticing your energetic breadcrumbs.
One trick is to follow any impulses you have that you deem; “weird” “insignificant” “random” or “non-strategic.”
Because our ego, mind and auto-biographical self will often label our jewels in these derogatory or dismissive ways as a strategy to self-protect.
Another key is to get yourself into an energetic state that is a match for those jewels and then follow any impulses that arrive. We’ll be talking about this in a future post.
For today, just do one thing. Take action on one thing that you think is “weird” or “random.” Notice what lights you up naturally. Track your energy throughout the day. When you feel really good or in a state of flow, what are you doing or saying? Who are you being?
As you observe and intentionally raise your energy state, your jewels will start to come to light.
May you put down the heavy backpack of belonging and obligation, and allow your true gifts to emerge,